I want to let it go, but that ruined my whole summer, how can I forget that? That’s all I think of when I think about my summer. I just want to forget him. But I’m already in knee deep and drowning
Sooo, you guys remember that whole period of time I was depressed not too long again over a boy. And I’m better now, and everything, but apparently now he has feelings for me again. Which I predicted he would because we have seen each other all summer so I guess when he saw me it finally hit him what he loss. Which I predicted right. But I have no idea to go farther than our friendship anymore. He left me bruised, and left me for some ugos. So I really don’t know if I want him anymore. And I saw him in person and how he looked, and I wasn’t that attracted to him. I’ve never been that attracted to his features, but I loved him for him and I got past it. I admit though, I still had some feelings for him when we became friends again, and was kinda hoping for this, but now thinking everything over it seems stupid. I don’t wanna be like that again, and I need to be able to enjoy the rest of high school not being stuck with one person all the time. All my older family members, grandparents, and parents always speak of this, how it’s better not to have a boyfriend, and I don’t if I want one anymore. At least not him, when he told me something that hinted he might like me again I got excited, but now that he has fully said he has “feelings” for me again, I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I just want to enjoy life and not be depressed. And then he keeps saying he doesn’t want to like me, like I don’t wanna like him, everything is just so confusing and bleh. I don’t know his reasons for not wanting to like me again, he doesn’t know, or at least I don’t think he knows I still kinda like him, maybe his reasons for not wanting to get involved with me is for the same reasons. Not getting hurt. But he hurt me in the end? Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt me like that again or have me go psycho on him again and just wants to be friends. I don’t know.
Any suggestions on what I should do?